“Perfit” Mom

I’m feeling super nostalgic. It was a year ago that Charlotte came into being and that I was on a career high. I just finished organizing my second New York Fashion Week show and was headed to Chicago for a meet & greet event with supermodel Ashley Graham. I was exhausted but chalked it up to a crazy work schedule and travel. Little did I know I was preggo!

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In Chicago post NYFW – tired AF and wondering why I’m so hungry…

All week, pics have been popping up on my newsfeed and I hardly recognize the girl in them. She looks rested. Her hair is perfectly coiffed. Her makeup is flawless. Her nails are done. For a second, I miss that girl…but then I remember everything I’ve gained.

The first thing that many people told me when I announced my pregnancy is that I was the type of person to get bored on maternity leave. As I’m known as someone who is always on the go, they felt that the change of pace would cramp my style and I would find staying at home claustrophobic. I would reply, “Naw, you know me! I’ll join a group and sign-up for classes and keep busy.” And that’s exactly what I’ve done!

I’m lucky to live in a community where families rule. The suburbs of Montreal always have something going on for families, whether it be a craft fair, farmer’s market or storytime at the library. I didn’t have to to look far to find something to occupy my time. I remember at around the 2 month mark, I had taken Charlotte out for a walk and was feeling a bit down. I walked around the neighborhood feeling lonely, wishing I had somewhere to go, something to do and people to do it with. Being the type-A girl that I am, I immediately went home and began furiously googling mom groups. I came across a new one that had recently launched called “Perfit Moms“. They held weekly walks, meet-ups and classes. So I jumped with both feet and jumped in.

I connected with away with the founder, Elisabeth. She is a go-getter, and super friendly and welcoming. You know those people that you meet and you feel like you’ve known them forever? That’s how I felt meeting Elisabeth. She started Perfit Moms as an resource for other moms in our area with the hope of building a community of moms helping moms. Weekly meet-ups can be about anything under the sun – nutrition, sleep, sex post baby, and self-defence. The best part, it’s ALL FREE! I was thrilled when Elisabeth asked me to come onboard to help her out, fulfilling my own prophecy of being in a mom group.

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Hanging in the park with some Perfit Moms

Although being Charlotte’s mom is my favourite job of them all, being in this group makes me feel like I’m making a difference and gives me a focus outside of diapers, feedings and bath-time. And that’s ok! I like to be busy, I like to be social and just because I have a baby doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice all of myself for her. By being true to myself and respecting my own desires, I’m a better mommy for Charlotte.

How did you stay true to yourself once you had a baby? I want to know! Share in the comments below!

 

Will You Be My Friend?

I’ve always been a naturally social person. One could argue that I’d befriend a plant if I was lonely enough. With a wide, diverse social circle and seemingly unlimited time provided by a generous maternity leave, I was ready to mingle. The first 4 weeks of motherhood were a blur of breastfeeding, diaper changes and naps but now I was ready to start my “new normal.”

However, along with the many physical changes motherhood brings (saggy skin, stretch marks, hair loss), my friendships changed too. New connections bloomed, old ones deepened and grew, and some fell away. Some friends embraced the “new me” with open arms, others welcomed me the mom club, and some just stopped calling.

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My bestie Gen and I with our babies born 3 days apart!

Instead of mourning friendships lost, I did what I always do when I don’t know what to do…launch into intense research mode. I reached out to old acquaintances that had kids, joined a dozen Facebook groups and Googled the crap out of things like “How to Make Mom Friends,” “Moms Near Me,” and “Meet New Moms”.

That’s when I came across the most amazing (and under-used app) called Peanut. It allows you to connect with like-minded mamas in your area and makes it easy to meet them. It’s basically like Tinder for moms – swipe down to wave at a mom, swipe up to maybe connect later. Ah technology!

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Get the App HERE

I actually ended up connecting with a few different women who I had seen around at pre-natal class, the obgyn, and the mall that I had been shy to approach (I know, right?! Me?! Shy?!) But it’s true…as much as you want to share and connect, striking up convo with strangers is weird. Thank god my experience in a sorority taught me how to approach other women. I always start with a compliment; your baby is adorable, or, I love your diaper bag,

This blog has also been an amazing way to connect with other moms. My heart bursts with joy every time one of you reaches out to connect or to simply say “ditto” to my most recent post. Keep it up! Motherhood can be isolating. So much of your time is wrapped up in your baby and it gets a little lonely. Each time someone reaches out digitally, it’s like a warm hug and instantly brings a smile to my face. Thanks for listening to my complaints…er, I mean stories.

I’m slowly building my mom tribe and would love to connect with you if you have kids (especially if you are in Montreal and on mat leave). Leave a note in the comments!